This scribble was put on my blog in 2014. Not sure if I drew it that year or before. Either way, I remember that that year the FDP came out with their new CI and to me, it was hilarious that they “copied” the fuck you look.
The title is mindful cursing. So here are a few words about that. I wouldn’t want to tell people to stop cursing – I wouldn’t want to tell myself to stop cursing. At the same time, I find more and more curses questionable and I put a conscious effort into not using them anymore.
This took me some time. Here’s an example – In my late twenties somehow I picked up the habit of calling something I didn’t like “gay.” It is so obvious now that that’s not ok unless I am happily living my homophobia?!? Looking back I can’t believe how I mustered the amount of ignorance, but I did. Until a gay friend pointed out the problematic use of the word “gay” as a curse word.
If it’s not harmful to me, and I have the best intentions, it can still be harmful.
Looking back I can’t say if it was a friendly nudge indirectly for me or the world. I remember that I wasn’t ashamed or anything so it definitely wasn’t directly addressed at me. I was and still can be quite fragile… Anyway, it had to be pointed out and maybe it was pointed out several times and I didn’t listen.
Listen even if it is said in a casual tone
Here’s another lesson. If something is pointed out to us and the person is angry, emotional and/ or in distress, we better listen. I know it’s hard, and we do not have to respond right away. We can say we are listening, and we need to let it sink in and get back to the person some days later. But we need to fucking listen – it’s quite likely we just overheard/ ignored the friendly nudge too many times, and while the “outbreak” has a long buildup to us, it comes as a surprise.
One day I heard the – to me – casual remark and understood, and I am so grateful for every time after that when I was able to do it better. It’s not enough to mean no harm – let’s better do less harm whenever we can.