Am I so foreign
I feel at home?
Can I loose myself that easily?
May I loose myself that easily?
I am
I am not
Who I am does not matter
Who am I
It’s flickering lights
pleasure and pain
Faces rushing past
Among and apart
Everywhere to go to
No place to run to
I am at home
yet I’ll never arrive
Be everyone you want
Be no one at all
Be seen
but never recognized
helpless
home
Where?
Take a taxi
It’s raining
tears of pleasure
is it you
Can I be you without anyone noticing?
What do you want?
Quick, fast, easy, cheap
anything to be archived
tomorrow
Anyone real enough
Constant haze
zombie state
forever, yet you never live
Little pleasures
unrecognized
loneliness
sown together to a deadman’s cloth
an endless feast lacking the salt
hot without sunlight
humid without rain
cheap with a high price to pay
Like roadkill
you know better
you are scared and fascinated
you can’t take your eyes off
at home
a magic escape long past the expiry date
you’ll always be a stranger
floating without connections – without restraints
Originally written around 2008
This slight iteration published on the 30th of June 2024 is based on a version from a notebook dated 20.12.2012
The article picture is a bad photo of a photo taken around 2000. The photo was intended to illustrate a copy of Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” as part of a imaginary series of beat generation book covers. For the covers I created the stage with cardboard cut-outs and Playmobil figurines. The original photos for the covers were taken with a professional camera as part of a graphic design and photography internship.